Slut Shaming
Growing up in the generation we are in today we hear and say many offensive words like hoe, whore, bitch, and even slut and we think that it is normal. We hear these words from friends, family, piers, celebrities, in movies, in music videos, in books, on social media, and we grow accustomed to it. But words like these after being called them so many times can actually take a toll on you, make you feel ashamed of yourself, cause self harm, and even cause death. So if the word "slut" can cause all of this damage to a person why do we even say it? What does it even mean? Is it okay?According to society the term "slut" means a woman who has many sexual partners. So if this is the case, then what are men who have many sexual partners called?
As women it isn't okay for a man to lay his hands on you because you were wearing a certain type of clothing. It isn't okay for a man to tell you "you were just asking for it." Situations like this have been happening more and more each day. It happens so often that Netflix desired to create their own original show based on a best selling novel, 13 Reasons Why. This netflix series is about teenagers in high school who either become friends with the new girl, or are the bullies to the new girl, Hannah Baker. In the beginning of the series we learn very quickly that she commits suicide for many reasons caused by exactly 13 people in which she leaves tapes for them explaining how they caused her death. According to Harpers Bazar, " she was a rape victim, slut shammed, dehumanized, labeled as a whore, and even stalked. But she was never actually rapped, she committed suicide as a virgin so all of that was because of one simple lie" (Nico Lang). It isn't okay for a man to tell you how many sexual partners is to many. it isn't okay to change your outfit because society feels like it is too revealing. I chose to do a blog about slut shaming because I feel like women deserve the same and equal rights and standards as men do.
Yes Means Yes
Have
you ever heard of the phrase "No means No?"
Although
it does state the obvious that when a person says no it means no don't touch
them, no don't buy them a drink, no they don't want your number, no they don't
want you, no literally means no. But cases show that some people, mostly
females, when intoxicated they are not able to speak to say the word no, so one
might just shake their head no. This action can actually give off mix signals
to the offender because they verbally didn't say the word "NO."
Although I feel like this is wrong either way because if one can't even stand,
let alone talk, why even try. As sad as it is, this is why in some cases there
is a grey line and people feel like the victim might have asked for the action,
or it was their fault for being too intoxicated to respond, or even they victim
might claim they thought they were shaking their head "yes".
According to Kayleigh Roberts article in The Atlantic she explains to us
that, "Any
time someone defaults to questioning what a victim could have done differently
to prevent a crime, he or she is participating, to some degree, in the culture
of victim-blaming."
So
whether or not one can verbally speak, consent means yes! Consent means both
people agree, consent is when both people are enjoying what is happening,
consent means keep going, consent means I want to see you again, consent means
here is my number. This is why there is a new phrase in town, "YES means
YES!"
Free the Nips
With all the latest trends in fashion like crop
tops, mom jeans, high wasted shorts, and even overall are making a cute
comeback. The main event in fashion would be body jewelry. I remember growing
up as a little girl and having choker necklaces and even small ones that can be
placed as rings and bracelets, but now that they are back in style makes me so
happy because I still had the chokers from when I was little. Hoop earrings are
back in style again, but my favorite would be nipple piercings. I find it so
funny how a lot of people feel like nipple piercings are too revealing, tacky,
and even ugly.
But why is there a difference? Males show off their
nipples all the time! Intact it is actually encouraged for promotions to
attract the female and some male audience. Men are able to be shirtless at
beaches. Men are able to be shirtless for sporting events. Men are even able to
be shirtless or lift up their shirt to show nipples while working out. If all of
this is okay for males, then why shouldn't it be for females? It is honestly
the same look just with a little more extra push for females. While being on
the cover of sexy magazine males are practically naked while females are
wearing a wet white shirt that is 100% see through, but because that shirt is
somewhat covering nips it is okay.
Nipple piercings are a way females try and "beat" the
system because technically the piercing is covering the nipple in a cute
fashionable way. So showing them off, or even wearing a normal top with no bra
on shows the real power of free the nips!
"Growing up I went to a private school that wasn't varied cultured and taught us that our body is a temple and if we were to damage our body with tattoos and piercings we would go to hell. But coming got CSULA I met so many amazing and inspiring people who had tons of tattoos and tons of piercings. I actually went to my first music festival freshman year, and that is when I decided I wanted to get my nipples pierced. At first I only got one nipple pierced, and it was more for the fashion, but once Donald Trump got elected as president and he stated all those statements about women and "grabbing them by the pussy" I felt like my piercing was more powerful so I decided to get my other nipple pierced. Now at ever change and place I get, I show them off loud and proud. If men can do it, so can women!" - Ariami Garcia, 20
It's My Body I Can Do What I Want
For many years now, people always try and tell us what to do, what
to wear, what to say, what's acceptable, etc. This is why some teenagers rebel
and do what ever the heck they want once they leave to college because there is
no parental guidance on a day to day bases. Reason being why someone might stop
another from doing something like getting a tattoo, or piercing, or wearing
revealing clothes is maybe because of religious reasons, the way their parents
grew up, bullying, and slut shaming.
"As a little girl I was very self conscious about my body. I was so self conscious that I actually had an eating disorder, but with the right help, the proper meal plans, and time, I was shown the beauty of people and how everyone is different. So every year in support of those who were suffering from this like I was I go to the NEDA (National Eating Disorder Association walk in Los Angeles. Society needs to stop judging women for how much skin they are or aren't showing, and start respecting us as human beings that have the right to live freely as individuals." -Lola Cardova, 21
All of these topics are important to me because I truly believe that they all lead to each other. All or most of the examples that I mentioned about being called slut, whore, self consciousness, and even self harm have honestly happened to me until on day in high school I completely snapped out of it. I started working out instead of forcing myself to purge when eating, I started to work out, I started to portion size, and I started to feel confident in how I look. So my Moto right now is, "TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT!"
Sources
Lang, Nico. 2017 April 10. There's No Such Thing As A Slut
http://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/film-tv/a21825/13-reasons-why-slut-shaming-teen-suicide/
Roberts, Kayleigh. 2016 October 5. The Psychology of Victim Blaming
https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2016/10/the-psychology-of-victim-blaming/502661/
Lang, Nico. 2017 April 10. There's No Such Thing As A Slut
http://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/film-tv/a21825/13-reasons-why-slut-shaming-teen-suicide/
Roberts, Kayleigh. 2016 October 5. The Psychology of Victim Blaming
https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2016/10/the-psychology-of-victim-blaming/502661/
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