SELF LOVE by LORENA ARROYOS

                A universal social issue I would like to focus on that we may not recognize so much as a social issue is self love. Let me elaborate. Whether it is having low self esteem, being  body shamed, or just simply not appreciating or valuing yourself really takes a toll on your emotional state. I find this so important because I as a psychology major I like to focus on the inner part of a human being that causes us to do what we do and explain the actions we take. It is crucial to ones’ self image to make sure we love ourselves in our own shape or form. There are a variety of things that can affect how we view ourselves and issues that cause us not to love ourselves; whether it Is society or issues like bullying, self-esteem, or biases, and these things can get so severe to the point of it causing depression, anxiety, or even suicide.
                                                                    MY STORY
                    Most importantly, this issue goes unnoticed of how crucial it is to find love for yourself and how so many people deal with lack of self love.This social issue affected me since I was a little girl. It was like any other day for me, the sun was out and it was Sunday meaning family day at my grandmas house. I was nine years old wearing my favorite shorts and a pink off the shoulder top and let me just say I felt so cute. Just until, my aunt (grandmas sister) stops by to visit and as soon as she sees me walk out the front porch she starts with her comments on my appearance. Just keep in mind I was only nine years old and let’s just say for a nine year old my body had developed a little faster than expected. My thighs were thunder thighs and my breasts were the size of oversized peaches. My aunt started making disturbing and uncomfortable comments like “she shouldn’t be wearing shorts like that with her fat thighs all out, she looks like a prostitute” and “and oh lord her breasts, she looks like an elder woman” of course I was only nine and the way she was saying these things made me feel ashamed of my body. I ran into the room and looked in the mirror, I immediately started to cry. That’s when me hating my shape and form started. I had trouble loving myself. All throughout grade school I would find new reasons to hate my body. I was bullied in middle school for my breasts and boys I had crushes on would say things about my breasts behind my back. So yes me having breasts at an early age really destroyed my self esteem and confidence. I notice now it’s hard for my to walk firmly upright because I feel that my breasts stand out so I walk with a slouch. Once I hit high school and finally people were sprouting out their own pair of boobs I felt finally a bit more comfortable. We all have insecurities and imperfections but I feel we need to learn to love them and embrace them because those are the things that set you apart from everyone else.

INTERVEIWED VICTIMS :

NADIA MORENO

"Well my insecurity started when I was around 7 years old. My cousin would constantly harass me and I kept it a secret because I felt very ashamed of myself. I felt like it was my fault. I felt dirty and I shouldn't have been feeling like that as a child. I felt my childhood and innocence being taken away. Because of him I grew afraid and insecure of myself and my image. I often was the quiet one and felt like the outcast. I grew older and he continued to do it until I reached a point where I told him enough was enough. He stopped but he would constantly tell me that I'm ugly and that I was stupid. I was only in second grade and he was in high school"

SONMARY ALCARON

"My biggest insecurity is being over weight. I've always been bigger then the rest of my friends but I was never really bullied for it. My family wouldn't point it out until maybe the age of 15. When I started looking for my quinceañera dress. Since then it's has honestly been hard to not over look the "curvy" women on social media, on magazines and even in person. It's hard to ignore what a women's body "should" look like according to everyone else. You constantly compare yourself to everyone's looks, personality, and social status. As hard as that is, I've learned not to compare myself to anyone, social media has helped a lot on that aspect because I see how women of different sizes, colors and ethnicity come together to beat society norms. And everyday is a learning process to accept who and how I am. After many struggles I can honestly say I love myself the way and that will always be a learning process."

VICTORIA SEPULVEDA

Insecurities: 

"My body 

My smile because of my teeth 

My height 

My long legs 

And my chin

Because people always make fun of me and tell me those things, I’ve always been made fun of growing up. People always told me I looked like some character with a big chin and my teeth needed braces."

ANNETTE GASTELON

"I am insecure about my teeth because they were messed up and my family would point it out so I went to go get braces. Also my nose because I felt as though it was too big compared to everyone else."

                       There are so many different ways that lead to lack of self love. Whether it is childhood experiences or being bullied, many of these issues go hand in hand and cause us to feel insecure and develop a low self-esteem. Low self-esteem has always been a large issue in the female ratio to males. Words just as simple as “girl”, “skinny”, “too nice”, or “too bossy” can immediately get women reacting harshly. These words can simply be transitioned from having no connotation to a negative one which can cause a women to feel insulted.

A word as simple as “skinny” is often insulting or not taken well by women. The thought of being too skinny or too fat is always a women’s main concern and may be seen as the easiest way to lower one’s self-esteem. Some girls see it as an insult because they take as you saying they don’t eat much or they are not healthy. It can also be taken as comparing them to thin objects like a stick or a paper and what not; similes like these hurts woman's’ feelings because it is a way of undermining their physical being to a thin object. Furthermore, there’s those girls that wish to be called or seen as skinny. Women that appreciate the comment of them being skinny see it as a praise or compliment.

                                                           BODY IMAGE 

   Everyone’s body is different, either short, tall, skinny, fat, thick, bony, point is everyone has their own unique body. And now you’re going to learn how to appreciate it even more!

                  

                      Are you putting yourself down because of you’re body?

 You shouldn’t! Being either thick or thin, its never a negative thing; every one of our bodies are different and unique , we should show off our bodies! Believe it or not but there’s always a girl who wants to have YOUR body, so don’t get discouraged, embrace it! All the flaws you notice about your body, aren’t always seen by anyone other than yourself. Us girls, we pay such close attention to our bodies to look for flaws that sometimes new ones that don’t even exist appear! There’s such a big difference between what you see in the mirror and what others see, so we should stop trying to point out new flaws and figure out new ways to recompense our bodies instead. Learning to love and accept our bodies ("imperfections" and all) helps our self-esteem stay strong. Perhaps you're being too hard on yourself, too self-critical, and noticing only the things about your appearance that you aren't satisfied with. Perhaps your friends are growing tired of hearing you talk about your body — especially to think you have nothing to worry about. It can be hard for people (even really good friends) to constantly hear others put themselves down or look for reassurance about their appearance; so this whole act of you being insecure doesn’t only affect you but the people around you. Before you start going off about how imperfect your body is reconsider the fact that your body isn’t what you thought it looked like, its beautiful and one of a kind so when you walk out in public for now on stand up tall with your head up high and smile because girl there’s only one of you!

                            How can you boost up your self-esteem?

One of the best ways to focus on the good is through working out. Exercising can really get you feeling better, both mentally and physically. If you start to feel down about yourself, try going for a run, shoot some hoops, or dance around your room to some favorite tunes. You'll probably feel your mood lift and you might not focus on your flaws.

You can also think about things you do well. These can include a favorite subject, a particular hobby, or a certain sport. Or maybe remember how good you felt when you did volunteer work, organized your closet, or gave advice to a friend.

When you feel down about yourself, take a good look at your accomplishments big and small and you'll realize there's much to be proud of, both inside and out.

Be Yourself Because There’s No one Better

  

   Every girl is beautiful. They are like flowers, they blossom beautifully throughout life. As a girl grows their self-esteem and personal worth develops with them. Self-esteem is about how confident we feel about ourselves, like our personalities and how we see ourselves on the outside, and how we compare or are compared to others. Your perception of yourself has an enormous impact on how others perceive you. Perception is reality — the more self-confidence you have, the more likely you’ll succeed.

   Now with that being expressed you should be aware that you’re one of those girls, you are beautiful and now a days us teenage girls lack something very important, self-esteem. A great majority of us are always worried about our appearance or how people see us, and sometimes some of you may be indenial of this action but we all know at some point we all care; whether its for a boy we really like to trying to look good just like your friends. Yes I know its hard being a girl.

   

     

       As a teenage girl we go through a lot of changes and also something we so very dislike called puberty. When we start to hit puberty we get periods, acne, and armpit odor. Along with these comes an emotional package and mood swings. As your body changes, so does your image of yourself; it’s not always easy to like every part of your looks, but when you get stuck on your flaws it can really bring down your self-esteem

 I believe that every girl is perfect and can be perfect in they're own unique way. All of us are one of a kind and yes we all come in different colors, shapes, and sizes, but we should accept who we are no matter what.

     

    Life is so busy for us young girls today. We hardly ever have time to take care of ourselves with extracurricular activities, school, and homework. It's hard enough just picking out the perfect outfit for the day. But there's something awesome inside of you—a beautiful young woman yearning to burst out and show the world her individuality.

Mistakes are okay! Rather than feeling down over a mistake, learn from it. Learn from your mistakes and you'll be more knowledgeable and better prepared next time! Sobbing over something that already happened where there’s nothing you can do to change it, it is better to be forgotten. Demi Lovato gave a very well advised quote relatively speaking:

“Learn from the past and share your experience with others, cherish the present and look forward to the future. But you don’t owe anybody the present other than yourself. Take time for YOU. Respect yourself AND your privacy. Set boundaries. Sometimes It’s okay to be selfish. Being selfless all the time can be equally as detrimental to your mind an body. Love yourself, because you are worthy of love. ❤” –DEMI LOVATO                                   

                                 

And it’s true; everyone is worthy of love and will only receive love when willing to accept it. Living in life of a girl is very complicated but this is what makes us strong, and proves that we can overcome any obstacle in our way! We should be proud of who you are because everyone is born here for a reason and life is just our way of figuring what reason is.

Above the Influence. It’s a state of mind. It’s about being yourself and not letting negative influence get to you. Pressure to drink, do drugs or do anything that goes against who you are in order to fit in; that’s negative influence. Above the Influence is and advertising campaign that is encouraging teenagers to be the best they can be as well as be themselves and make right decisions.

“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.”  ― Marilyn Monroe                 

                                       

No one is perfect. If everyone would’ve been perfect, no lessons would be learned, everyone would be the same. Being yourself should be the only type of perfect you should be.

“Being called weird is like being called limited edition, meaning you’re something people don’t see that often. Remember that.” –Unknown

 You’re lucky enough to be different, never change. Being insecure is the ugliest trait a girl can possible have. It shows weakness, and most people just feel sorrowful for them. There are two types of insecure people. The first type is the type of insecure people that have to make excuses and put others down to feel confident. Confidence isn’t walking into a room with your nose in the air, and thinking you are better than everyone else, its walking into a room and not having to compare yourself to anyone else. The second types of insecure people are the ones that just put themselves down. They always feel like the lower person, and feel as if they don’t exist. Neither of these types is okay! We should all be able to call each other and ourselves beautiful!

       

CITATIONS

http://abovetheinfluence.com/living-above/ 

http://sheu.org.uk/content/blog/bullying-update