Self Acceptance in LGBTQ+ by Azucena Guzman
The LGBTQ+ community has served many accomplishments in fighting for equality and equal respect. So many people celebrate and show pride in their true selves. Celebrating one’s pride is like a huge weight off their shoulders, as a result, it can lead to ease in their life. Though there are people who can freely celebrate their own identity, there are people who struggle with self-acceptance of their sexual identity. Coming to terms with one’s sexual identity is a different experience for everyone. In some cases accepting one’s self can be hard to conclude because of the surrounding environment or the people they are associated with. A person’s sexual orientation is still a taboo subject even though there is evidence of progression in place. A lot of these progressive laws also have people that have fought against them which results in the spread of hatred. Having hatred surrounding LGBTQ+ issues has affected whether they think it’s safe to express themselves and present themselves as who they are. Self-acceptance is already a hard enough journey to go through, however, with the added social hatred brings people a step back.
The LGBTQ+ community is constantly in an ongoing battle of acceptance. I remember a classmate in my high school Who was released struggling with a median in the settings his sexual identity. And it became very noticeable how much it has affected his mental health because he could not picture himself being someone who he didn’t want to be. I feel personally affected by this issue because I remember my own struggle with finding my sexual identity. It took me a while to understand how I am so much different from my other classmates. It was very reassuring to know that my high school was very LGBTQ+ positive, back at home I have parents that do not understand the community. There is also the media pressuring hetero sexual norms that is became difficult to come to terms who I really am. I remember being openly gender fluid and gaining negative reactions because of it. Oftentimes people would assume I was something else and it only leads to me being even more confused than I already am. Many of these reactions continue to occupy my mind. Though the journey was long, I later identified myself as Demisexual.
Choosing this issue is important because though we continue to celebrate the progression of LGBTQ+ equality, we tend to forget the journey that it took us to get to our true selves. The issue of negative responses and reactions towards the community and how much media has affected our progression into self acceptances. Because of the media there’s still people who are afraid to come out and be who they want to be. There is still a lack of education in teaching people how to react to youth and how their responses can affect their mental health. It is important to bring awareness that people's words do hurt and have a major impact on one’s true self.
Members of the LGBTQ+ Community
Yuvia Martinez, They/Them, 21, Pan-romantic, Aegosexual
I came to terms that my sexuality was different from straight around Middle school, so like when I was 12 or 13. I didn’t really know there were terms for being gay or bi or anything until high school. My friends helped me out in that aspect. They taught me a lot and were very accepting of everything. So it was easy to accept myself as being pansexual, it may have take a few months at most, a few weeks at least because I just did not know what each terms meant and if it would be ok to identify that way. I had a very accepting social circle so it was not hard to come to terms with it. Definitely had negative experiences… My dad was not so happy to hear the news. My parents are divorced and he’s a heavy catholic, we already didn’t get along because I don’t have a religion, but he said he “would not have a daughter that is not catholic or straight” and well, I guess he has none of those now lmao but I officially cut ties with him after coming out as non-binary to him. Other than that, it’s just random people online that think I’m just trying to induce bi-erasure which is obviously not true.
I'm happy to continue learning new things about myself and my identity, I am constantly questioning if some labels fit so that’s why I generally go for umbrella terms rather than specifics, but I’m happy with the way I am and I’m comfortable in my own skin considering my sexuality. I find myself reseving myself for my own benefit because you can sort of get a vibe from someone that they aren’t going to accept your sexual identity or anything pertaining to anything around it. So I just don’t bring it up. But other than those instances, I’m generally super open with that stuff, trying to get people to see it’s a normal thing and it’s not something that needs to be hidden. I felt at peace with myself and like something clicked into place that hadn’t before! It made me feel less alone or scared that something was wrong. I felt good and healthy that I came to terms with what I was.
Yemaya Penalosa, she/they, 19, Bisexual
I came to terms with my orientation around 7th grade. It took me almost a year to accept it all. It was difficult to come to terms with it because my parents are religious. All you all you really hear growing up is that LGBT people are going to hell and there is no way out. I believed wholeheartedly that at one point I became scared of not being able to find a way out. It is hard to be affectionate in public, whether it is holding hands or kissing my partner on the cheek, there will always be stares and that is something we keep ourselves from doing. I believe now I am more comfortable in my own skin more than I was before. I feel more open with talking about it if I am ever asked. I always felt the people around me would react differently when I become open with them. It does become a big concern that people around me would stop associating themselves with me, especially my parents. However, I am thankful to receive the support that I need from people and that is very important to me.
Alex Cabrera, he/him, 21, Gay
I came to terms with my sexual identity sometime during eighth grade. That was 2015 and the same year I came out. My sexual identity was something that took me a LONG time to come to terms with and accept. It was always joked about around me growing up that I was gay and I would always deny it and even get a little offended by it. To give a time, I feel like ever since I was a kid wearing my mom’s leather high heel boots, that it was something I had been struggling with and had sort of pushed down and out of the way until I came out. When I first came out to my best friend at the time, it was relieving. It was almost some sort of “epiphany” where everything hit me and I’d say that at that point in time, I was confident of my sexual identity. Growing up, the term “gay” was always used negatively. It was something that no one I knew “wanted to be”. It was always used as a joke and made to tease me and others and almost bully in a way. My dad himself at the time also did not really understand homosexuality and I’ve caught him questioning a TV show for including a gay male couple and these experiences had really affected me in terms of just not even thinking about the possibility that I could be gay myself. I think it’s why I never really understood or noticed that I always had crushes on boys as a kid. Any sort of thoughts or feelings I had that could indicate my sexual identity, were just clouded by all the ideas put in my head regarding the connotation of being gay set by my friends and family. I am comfortable with myself now. And have been for a while. There have been many times I can remember having to “reserve myself” for other benefits. The way I may act, talk, dress in certain situations and places are big times where I feel like I am “controlling” myself or masking my true identity. Like I mentioned earlier, coming to terms with my sexual identity had done a lot of healing for me. It made me feel more like myself and that underlying weight had just left my shoulders. I feel like I became an entirely different person, in a good way, when I came to terms with my sexuality.
Germain Guzman, he/him, 22, Bisexual
I was curious about my sexuality in middle school but have never come to terms with it till high school since my classmates in middle school weren't so open with the LGBT+ community and even bullied two teachers that came out to us. In high school the staff are open to the community and protected students that were coming out. It took a while for me to accept my identity since I didn't know what I was and was slowly learning about all the different sexuality. I didn't know if I was gay, pansexual, or even transexual. After 2 years of graduating high school is when I figured out my sexuality. I never had negative experiences since a lot of my friends are also part of the community and my straight friends supporting me. I am comfortable with myself since that is who I am and I do what makes me happy.
Dissemination of research to a public audience
People who identify themselves within the community find themselves scared of coming out and getting a bad reaction from it.
LGBTQ+ youth are not given the support they need to get through a confusing period of their life.
Many people in the community are in constant fear of facing harm for being themselves
Pushing negative commentary and media can widely affect someone’s mental health.
So much of their mental health can be affected in a way where they feel like harming themselves is a good escape way
Accidents can also come from people around, showing them the support and care they need.
Acceptance does first come from the beginning years of someone’s life. It is important to allow parents to show their children that it is okay to be themselves and to educate them that based on their choice of words an action can affect their child’s future. According to the article, The Importance of Family Acceptance for LGBTQ Youth, “parents need culturally relevant peer support to help decrease rejection and increase family support. Advise parents that negative reactions to their adolescent’s LGBTQ identity may negatively impact their child’s health and mental health while supportive and affirming reactions promote well-being” (Lawlis). Parents can create a healthy environment for their children to allow them to become more comfortable with their self-identity and be more open to accepting themselves. This will establish a clear understanding of whatever they might identify as they will have people to support them.
It is also very important for there to normalize to people that the community is just as important as anybody else. In the article, The Global Divide on Homosexuality Persists, “In many of the countries surveyed, there also are differences in acceptance of homosexuality by age, education, income, and, in some instances, gender – and in several cases, these differences are substantial. In addition, religion and its importance in people’s lives shape opinions in many countries… Political ideology also plays a role in the acceptance of homosexuality. In many countries, those on the political right are less accepting of homosexuality than those on the left. And supporters of several right-wing populist parties in Europe are also less likely to see homosexuality as acceptable” (Greenwood). As mentioned by those from the community, a lot of them felt that they have to reserve themselves because their community isn’t widely accepted. That being said, the progression of different countries becoming more aware and understanding of the community will allow much LGBTQ+ youth to feel more confident and excepting of the cells without having to worry about the consequences.
Sources
Greenwood, Shannon. “The Global Divide on Homosexuality Persists.” Pew Research Center's Global Attitudes Project, Pew Research Center, 27 Oct. 2020, https://www.pewresearch.org/global/2020/06/25/global-divide-on-homosexuality-persists/.
Lawlis, Shauna M, and MD. “The Importance of Family Acceptance for LGBTQ Youth.” MDedge Pediatrics, 16 Feb. 2021, https://www.mdedge.com/pediatrics/article/235976/mental-health/importance-family-acceptance-lgbtq-youth#:~:text=Parents%20need%20culturally%20relevant%20peer,affirming%20reactions%20promote%20well%2Dbeing.
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