Intra-Familial Child Sexual Abuse
Maria Mendoza
To me civic engagement is about giving fair chances, resources, sense of safety, and opportunities to underserved communities. I didn’t really know too much about what Civic Engagement meant until I read some of the definitions on the different websites but now I know that it’s something that we as humans put time and effort into in order to help others or a community as a whole.
Intra-Familial Child Sexual Abuse is a topic that is not discussed often within families and communities for many different reasons. Some families choose to keep their children's innocence intact by not discussing inappropriate touching and behaviors. When this topic is discussed it is usually always a stranger being the perpetrator when the inappropriate touching and behaviors occur. It’s great that parents teach their children to be aware and careful with strangers, but what happens when the person who inappropriately touches a child is a part of the family ? or is a family friend? What then is being discussed and do the adults in the children's lives choose to remain quiet in order to help the perpetrator and not tarnish their reputation or do the adults help their child to not only get justice but also to get the necessary resources to help the children cope with the trauma and violation. This topic is unfortunately very common and is not discussed enough for various different reasons. When it is discussed and brought to light not only are the victims and survivors of Child sexual abuse at times let down by their own family but they are also being let down by the justice system as a whole.
There are several issues when it comes to the topic of Intra-familial Child Sexual Abuse. In many cases people tend to assume that incest is not as common or are ignorant to the fact that there are people who enjoy sexually abusing minors. In these cases it is unfortunate that some if not most people choose to rely on the saying “ ignorance is bliss”, instead of trying to learn and understand the dynamics and patterns of what leads to children being sexually abused and no it is never the victim's fault.
While conducting my research on Intra-Familial Child Sexual Abuse I came across two very helpful articles that helped me get a better insight into the statistics, family dynamics, examples of sexual assault and incest, the challenges victims face as a result of the abuse, Children NOT being able to give consent, generational trauma, negative health effects of sexual abuse, and the treatment of victims. The websites I found very insightful are the Wings Foundation and The National Library of Medicine’s article on Child Sexual Abuse and Neglect. While reading the Wings Foundation article I also came across the many different resources that they provide to adults who were victims of child sexual abuse and they also offer resources to the victims loved ones as well. The Wings foundation stated that 90% of child sexual assaults cases happen to a child by an older child, teenager, and adult. About 60% of these assaults are carried out by someone that the child knows, trusts, is related to, and may depend on for care. There are several stereotypes that may have people believe that incest is rare and that is unfortunately not true. It does not take much for people to try to learn the dynamics of child sexual abuse and to see why that abuse is very common within families and why abusers abuse children that they have accsess to wether the children are in their homes or are at family functions.
The family dynamics that make this abuse seem “normal” are when this abuse is usually generational and when families follow strict gender roles which place men above women. Women and at times men are taken advantage of by the person in the family who is seen as superior and has more power over others. This leads to physical,emotional,relational and mental needs not being honored equally throughout the family and it makes violence seen as a tradition that needs to be followed.
The examples of incest may be “a grandfather abusing his children and his children’s children; an uncle abusing his nieces or nephews, a sibling abusing his sister or brother, re-enacting what his father may have done to him.” (Wings Foundation. )The challenges that victims face are ultimately being blamed for the abuse that happened to them and also made to feel as if they are the problem, “the person who has been victimized is made to feel as if they are wrong for telling the truth. They may face harmful victim-blaming tactics and be disbelieved, silenced or even shunned. This is why it is so important to believe survivors who come forward. They may be facing intense pressure by those closest to them to stay wounded, hurt and quiet.” (Wings Foundation). It is important to know that children can not give consent and that victim blaming only furthers and prolongs this generational trauma.
The health effects that child sexual abuse causes in children and adults who were abused as children vary. It is important to note that there are many cases where people do not report the abuse they endured so the exact number of people known to have these effects are not all accounted for. The National Library of Medicine states the effects of the absue, “Adolescents are at increased risk for a number of conditions as they enter adulthood including anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, hospitalization for mental health disorders, social phobias, and post-traumatic stress disorder. Additionally, victims of child sexual abuse are at a higher risk of becoming victims of intimate partner violence as well as sexual assault in adulthood.”
Treatment for this abuse also varies such as therapy, support groups, physicians, nurses, etc. It is important for the victims to have a community that supports them as they go through life living with the abuse that they should have never endured.
For as long as I can remember, I have had to deal with this horrible subject of Intra-familial Child Sexual Abuse. I was 5 years old when I myself unfortunately discovered what that meant. At the time of course I did not know what it meant but as I grew older I saw that the abuse was very common within my family. The adults were very ignorant and at times they themselves were also victims of this abuse and they still allowed their abusers to be around the new younger generation, allowing this generational trauma of sexual abuse to continue. I decided to speak up against my own abusers and did so in 2020 and I got to see first hand what victim blaming was and how my family went to great lengths to protect the pigs and abusers instead of protecting the victims. I don't blame anyone in my family for never reporting as I know that the new generation never reported due to fear or the “normalcy” surrounding this abuse. I am happy to say that by reporting and talking to other victims of my family that other victims reported their abusers and others shunned us and berated us and still do. Justice has not been served for us victims but I have made it my life's mission when I began high school and even now to continue my education to become an attorney that helps others with similar situations. These experiences are still stuck with me and can at times take their toll on me but I have also received help from therapists, resources, and by surrounding myself with people who truly love me.
How old were you when you found out what child sexual abuse was?Did your parents ever mention this topic?
Do you have any experiences related to this abuse? If so, how have you coped and do you need help with any resources?
Do you want to have kids of your own after these experiences?Yes?, No? , why? If you do how will you protect them from this?
WINGS FOUNDATION:
Intrafamilial sexual abuse or incest . Wings Foundation. (2022, June 30). https://www.wingsfound.org/resource/intrafamilial-abuse/
NCBI:
Melmer, M. N. (2023, August 28). Child sexual abuse and neglect. StatPearls [Internet]. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK470563/
No comments:
Post a Comment