Bullying

Bullying - Michael Palomino

When I was younger and going to elementary school, my parents and other grownups would always ask if I was being bullied. I would always tell them I was not, which was true. I was fortunate enough to have never been bullied in any grade. They would then ask me if there were any bullies at school, to which I would also say no. When I was younger, I genuinely did not believe there was any bullying in my school, however, looking back on my time from kindergarten to 8^th grade, I definitely see there was bullying going on. I also remember just watching it happen and never really doing anything about it. Maybe I didn’t think it was that bad because it was not happening to me and I wasn’t able to put myself in other kids’ shoes. When I think of the kids who were getting bullied, I now realize why they were so quiet and acted the way they did and it upsets me that we were part of the bullying problem.

Types of Bullying

There are three types of bullying:

• Verbal bullying is saying or writing mean things. Verbal bullying includes:
• Teasing
• Name-calling
• Inappropriate sexual comments
• Taunting
• Threatening to cause harm
• Social bullying, sometimes referred to as relational bullying, involves hurting someone’s reputation or relationships. Social bullying includes:
• Leaving someone out on purpose
• Telling other children not to be friends with someone
• Spreading rumors about someone
• Embarrassing someone in public
• Physical bullying involves hurting a person’s body or possessions. Physical bullying includes:
• Hitting/kicking/pinching
• Spitting
• Tripping/pushing
• Taking or breaking someone’s things
• Making mean or rude hand gestures

(Department of Health and Human Services, 2018).

I attended a private catholic school and I would like to believe this environment with parent who are able willing to pay for a private education will have stable homes for their children and teach them good values about how to treat others. For these reasons, the bullying in my school never amounted to any violence or any physical bullying. However, not all schools are like my old one. I don't want to sound like I am saying public schools are worse or that is public schools’ fault for bullying, but the fact is many low income families send their children to public schools. I believe family and home life is a major, if not sole, contributor to a child’s behavior outside of their home. There are many reasons a family may be low income, but, generally speaking, these families are broken, are influenced by drugs and alcohol, do not have any form of higher education, or most likely came from a family with parents who had these problems. These problems in the home result in a child’s behavior at school and their interactions with other children, sometimes in the form of bullying. I do not know what goes on in schools first hand, but there is obviously an epidemic of bullying due to the amount of attention it gets and this bullying has huge consequences.

“Bullying victimization during childhood or adolescence is a risk factor of poor physical health, mental health disorders, deliberate self-harm, and suicidal symptoms at any age” (Karanikola et al, 2). The victims of bullying are left to deal with the torment of having to go to school and knowing they will get bullied. Based on personal experience and on experiences of others, some children choose to keep their victimization to themselves and not tell adults. Perhaps they are embarrassed or scared. A child’s world is very small, mostly limited to home and school. When school, a huge part of their life, becomes agony and stress due to bullying, a young child does not know to deal with those feelings and their inability to cope will lead to big problems.

Why This Matters to Me

This matters to me, mostly, because I am studying to be an elementary school teacher and I can almost guarantee I will be dealing with this problem at whichever school I will work for. My goal as a teacher will be to give every child a quality foundation in order for them to continue their education into adulthood in order to have a quality life. This foundation I want for them is not limited to knowledge, because quality of life is not solely based on education. Their mental and emotional well being is also a huge factor to their healthy development into an adult, perhaps even more vital than knowledge. 

I also want to have children of my own one day and when I do, my child might have to deal with bullying. My friends and family are also having children nowadays and it would anger me and also break my hearty to hear their children are a victim of some bully. No child should have to deal with the physical and emotional stress of being bullied.

Interviews

John and Alex work as 3rd and 2nd grade teachers in a public school in Los Angeles.

As an elementary teacher, bullying is rampant in parts of public education. The main reason is lack of parental guidance. A stable home plays a vital role on children's “moral compass.” Lack of stability at home gets brought into school where a child can let it out. Bullies do not know how to process most of what they are feeling and so they react either in a violent way or an attention seeking way. Unfortunately, lack of funding in most public schools creates a shortage of psychologists, teacher aides, recess/lunch supervisors, and positive behavioral management programs.

- John Castillo

(pictured left)

"This might be specific to our school because our kids have so many adverse life experiences, but I’ve seen a lot of bullying resulting from unresolved trauma. Kids aren’t given the tools they need to process the various traumas they’ve experienced, and one way it expresses itself is their relationships with peers.

-Alex Carpenter

(pictured right)

Clarisa works as a teacher's aid in a public magnet school 

"Today’s bullying is different than it was before. It used to be all physical. Beating kids up for their lunch money or just because. Now kids have social media. It is more psychological and emotional now. They have more ways to bully someone. I think everyone is more sensitive now and do not know how to deal with their emotions, so in most cases, when they feel hurt about anything someone does or doesn’t do they are affected and call it bullying."

-Clarisa Romero

What We Can Do

Kids who know what bullying is can better identify it. They can talk about bullying if it happens to them or others. Kids need to know ways to safely stand up to bullying and how to get help.

• Encourage kids to speak to a trusted adult if they are bullied or see others being bullied.  The adult can give comfort, support, and advice, even if they can’t solve the problem. Encourage the child to report bullying if it happens.
• Talk about how to stand up to kids who bully. Give tips, like using humor and saying “stop” directly and confidently. Talk about what to do if those actions don’t work, like walking away
• Talk about strategies for staying safe, such as staying near adults or groups of other kids.
• Urge them to help kids who are bullied by showing kindness or getting help.

(Department of Health and Human Services, 2018)

References

United States, Department of Health and Human Services. “What is Bullying?” 26 July 2018, https://www.stopbullying.gov/what-is-bullying/index.html.

Karanikola, Maria N. K., et al. “The Association between Deliberate Self-Harm and School Bullying Victimization and the Mediating Effect of Depressive Symptoms and Self-Stigma: A Systematic Review.” BioMed Research International, Oct. 2018, pp. 1–36. EBSCOhost, doi:10.1155/2018/4745791.